In this day that we are living in, things are not only very stressful, but seem to move very fast. We barely have time to think, and when we do, we have to do it quickly. But when we have to think quickly, sometimes mistakes are made, feelings get hurt or we can make poor choices.

Even in the midst of a fast-paced situation, if you can take the time to calm your mind, you can improve the quality of your life.

So  what do I mean by that? What do I mean by the phrase A calm mind is a receptive mind?

Let’s break statement down.

To me, ‘calm’ means relaxed, tranquil/quiet, non-chaotic.

‘Receptive’ means to be open, capable of receiving.

In my humble opinion when your mind is calm, it is open and receptive to many things and possibilities.

What things can a calm mind be open or receptive to?  A few examples:

  • Learning
  • Thinking
  • Ideas
  • Love
  • Problem solving / resolution
  • Listening
  • Compromise
  • Respect
  • Understanding
  • Effective communication

Have you noticed that when you’re in an argument with someone and you are on the defensive, do you notice that while you hear the person speaking, you may not actually be ‘listening’ to what they are saying? When in a blocked or defensive mode, we typically don’t listen and we’re not receptive to others’ thoughts.

In addition, when we have fleeting thoughts, are feeling inpatient or are generally feeling angry, we don’t have the ability to think clearly. This leads us to sometimes make errors and poor decisions.

But if you can find a way to shut that down all that mind chatter, to calm your mind, and be open to listening to another point of view and even if you don’t agree, that disagreement will be based on clear thinking and not just rush to judgment and condemnation.

How do you calm your mind especially when you are in an acute situation?  Here are five suggestions:

  1. If I’ve said it one I’ll say it 1 million times – BREATHE. There is something about taking in deep breaths and blowing out frustration, anxiety, chatter, fear all of those negative and non-productive feelings out.
  2. Guided meditation – think of something you love and focus only on that. Channel this love. Think of peace harmony, contentment, happiness, no worry, calm. Smile if you have to. But activate those feel good hormones!
  3. Talk to yourself, even if it’s out loud, calm yourself down. I don’t mean in a creepy way, but for example when I am nervous I say something like: Deitrick – You can do this, Deitrick – you are fine, Deitrick – just breath. Or if you have a favorite scripture or saying that calms you down, you should speak it. Use positive affirmations.
  4. Look at something that you are curious about. When you look at something out of curiosity, all of your attention focuses on that particular thing. And when your attention becomes focused, your mind cannot think about the stressful thoughts that cause you to feel stressed. So your mind relaxes and in return relaxes your body.
  5. Practice Gratitude – When you take a brief moment to be thankful for who you are at this time, where you are, what you may have in your life, there isn’t another way to go except to be calm.  Even if you are catching it right now. Take a moment to be grateful for what you do have. It can be worse. Even though it may not seem like it. It really can be.  But find something grateful to be about.  Write down 5 things on a paper. When you aren’t feeling particularly well or grateful. Look at it and remind yourself, you do have something to be grateful for.

To summarize:

To help calm your mind:

  1. Breath
  2. Meditate
  3. Talk to yourself
  4. Look at something you are curious about, right now
  5. Practice Gratitude

I hope some of these suggestions will be helpful to you and relay the importance of trying to have a clear and calm mind.  These are just a few.  Try to be conscious  of your thoughts.  Your thoughts are powerful. When your mind tries to take you to a place of disorder, anxiety, chaos, fear, remember that thoughts and actions coming from that state of mental being, and they are not productive nor do they make your mind receptive.  Do your best to calm your mind.  Please remember a CALM mind is a Receptive Mind.

The Stress of Yes

The Stress of Yes – As humans, being agreeable is often a natural impulse. We want to help others as it’s often part of our core values. Plus, it helps to build trust, intimacy, friendships, good moments and more.

There are many reasons that people find themselves stressed out these days. We have a lot going on in our country and our world right now – we are definitely living in stressful time.

One of the ways we are adding to our own stress level is by saying “yes” to others when we don’t want to.

Let me explain.

There are times when we’re asked to do something or go somewhere and it’s actually something we really want to do. How do you feel? Excited? Happy? You may even be looking forward to it.

But what about the times when you are asked to do something, or go somewhere or try something, and it doesn’t sit well with you or you just don’t want to do it. Or how about this, you REALLY didn’t want to do it?

This situation can get tricky or stressful especially when you’re in a work situation and you commit to something that you truly don’t want to follow through on. It can also get complicated when you commit to a family member and later regret it.

In general, we tend to say yes in most situations because we want to please others, to be liked, want to avoid feeling guilty or are too scared to say no.

However, saying yes all the time can have some negative impacts:

  1. You’re adding to your stress and anxiety.
  2. You’re feeling overwhelmed, just taking on too much.
  3. Can leave you to feel extra tired and fatigued, just exhausted.
  4. You’re neglecting your own care as you reduce time to focus on your health and well-being.

Instead of saying yes all the time, try this:

  1. Say no! It’s a complete sentence.
  • It is a freeing sentence, it can be finite.
  • It’s a release of weight off of you.
  • When you say no, now you are free to make choices about other things and other opportunities can be created.
  • You can use your time for something else or to do nothing, it’s your choice.
  • You can offer a reason for saying no. For example, say “Thank you for thinking of me for this, but I’m going to have to pass, I have other commitments and I don’t think I would be able to fully participate.”
  1. You can say maybe:
  • This will give you time to think about it.
  • Remember if you say yes there’s a consequence and if you say no there’s a consequence.
  • This will buy you some time to weigh the pros and cons and then make your decision.
  1. Practice saying “No”
  • Practice the conversation in your head so you can feel more comfortable when talking with the person.
  1. You can say yes, if you really want to, but remember that you may be opening yourself up to this commitment again down the road.

When it comes to the stress of saying yes, ask yourself – are you saying yes to become someone else’s image of you or are you being true to yourself?

It can take a lot of courage to say no, especially if you have been a people pleaser. But remember that your stress level and well-being matter too. Give yourself permission to say no. It gets easier the more you do!

Just a note, if someone says no to your request – just accept it and don’t trip. Don’t give attitude. Try not to take it personally and just respect their decision. You may even be able to learn from this experience for the next time someone expects you to say yes!

Relax Well!

Health Benefits of Relaxation

Why It’s Important to Make time for Relaxation – It Benefits Your Health!

Most of us realize that we need to do a better job in reducing our stress levels. But as we juggle multiple responsibilities in our daily lives and strive to stay on top of our never-ending “to do” lists, our thoughts of self-care frequently fall by the wayside.

As a board certified family medicine doctor, I have a solid understanding of the negative effects of chronic, unmanaged stress. From depression to poor digestion, the impact of stress can take its toll.

On the flip side, there are many benefits when you devote attention to reducing your anxiety and focus on healthy behaviors leading to a more calm approach to life.

A few examples include:

Physical Effects:
-Decreased blood pressure
-Decrease heart rate
-Decrease breathing rate
-Improved digestion
-Improved blood sugar control
-Improved blood flow
-Decreased pain
-Improved healing

Mental Benefits:
-A better attitude
-Improved concentration
-Decreased anger
-Decreased frustration
-Improved confidence

These are just a few ways that incorporating more relaxation in your life can enable you to make significant improvements, both mentally and physically. The next time you avoid allowing yourself to take a much needed break, I encourage you to think of the many positive outcomes you’ll enjoy by practicing self-care and finding your ‘calm.’

Your mind and body will thank you!

Relax well!

Ear Massage – An unconventional way to promote relaxation

It involves 2 structures that are on opposite sides of your brain, and guesses? Right your ears LOL.

Ear massage, yes ear massage.

Auriculotherapy is reflexology of the ear

So the auricle of the ear supposed to represent the microsystem of the the whole body.

According to microsystem theory, there are no direct connections between the ear and specific distal body parts. Rather, nerves from the ear connect to reflex centers in the brain that send neurological reflex pathways to the spinal cord, which then, sends them on to the neurons reaching distal body parts.

Needless to say the ears are highly accessible for massage, I mean they are right here.

While ear massage can be used to address a countless array of health issues including stress and anxiety. Message also helps to release the natural feel good hormones called endorphins.

The great thing is that you don’t have to be a massage therapist, you can give your own self a massage

Now how do give your self an ear massage. Note there are different ways to do this, but here are my recommendations

Remove earrings.

Wash your hands

Place on your favorite lotion for extra smell good OR

Plus or minus your own essential oil to be used on the external ear, not internal. Or your can use nothing on your hands.

You will mainly use your thumb and your index finger then.

Get to it! there are many different ways your can massage your ear. there are different techniques. Remember to do some deep breathing when massaging your ear.

Ill just demonstrate a couple of maneuvers tonight you can do it along with me. Im telling you it may be unconventional but it may be able to help with your relaxation, stress, anxiety Maybe even headaches. Why not try it. Just try it.

Ok after you have washed your hands and applied or not applied your relaxing scent

Rub your hands together for a fes seconds to get your hands warm

Placeover each ear to warm things up.

Spread fingers and cup hand, rub ear

Pinch ear and hold the pressure points,

rotate the ears forward and back ward

Your may start to feel burning your ears feel hot, you are bringing blood flow to the ears

Do this when ever, when you are feeling stressed, anxious, maybe even a headache.

Takes just a few minutes, you can do one ear at a time or both.
Please note I must caution you this will not and I repeat, this will not help with children or spousal selective hearing loss, its for relaxation purposes lol